Speaking of students, it's A-level results time again, and the nation's 17- and 18-year-olds - plus the occasional frankly quite freaky fast-tracked child - will all have been waking up this morning with a clearer idea about what their future holds in store, assuming they're not ridiculously hungover... which let's face it they probably are, with the obvious exception of the precocious fast-learners who are doubtless rewarded with a new suit and briefcase with which to perpetuate their mini-adult sideshow-attraction lifestyle.

(As an aside, how have any students ended up drowning their sorrows, given the widespread reports of dumbing down in the education system? The Round-Up is left wondering which aspect of passing the modern A-level had them stumped: the turning up, or the writing their own name bit?)

But, with so many students now thinking about heading to further education and all that entails, one headline-courting computer retailer has announced a scheme to prevent the spread of viruses - both online and offline.

Evesham Technology is giving all students who purchase a PC during its 'back to college' promotion free desktop antivirus software and a packet of condoms (do you see what they've done there?).

Previously the offer was run in association with rubbers giant Mates, but now it has been passed to rival prophylactic peddler Trojan - which raises more than a little confusion, given that Trojans, the nasty little pieces of code which covertly hijack a user's machine, are one of the biggest security threats currently facing computer users.

One wit in the silicon.com office even enquired as to whether they will be offering 'backdoor Trojans' - but we probably shouldn't go there...

The Evesham press release says: "Most students will be hitting the shops to buy a new PC to take to university, where sex will be high on the agenda."

Really? OK, the sex bit is pretty timeless, but do "most students" really take a new PC to Uni?

Given that many won't be getting their loans on time due to a computer error at the student loans authority: (see here for more) the Round-Up can't help suspecting this is little more than wishful thinking on the part of Evesham.